


Statues

by DecemberCamie



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 02:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16945467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: The Horde falls, and She-Ra dies.Catra has nowhere to go. So she takes up residence in Bright Moon and tries not to fall apart at the seams.





	Statues

The Horde falls, and She-Ra dies.

Catra has nowhere to go. So she takes up residence in Bright Moon and tries not to fall apart at the seams.

 

-o0o-

 

Catra staying in Bright Moon wasn’t anyone’s idea of a ‘good plan’. Least of all Catra’s. If she had a choice, she would be sprinting back to the Fight Zone as fast as she could, ducking through the Whispering Woods and ignoring that little voice in the back of her head to stay stay _stay—_

But she can’t go back to the Fright Zone. It’s gone now, just like everything Catra knew from her childhood. And Adora would want her to stay, despite the fear the crawls up Catra’s throat as she walks through the Bright Moon’s pearly gates. Adora had always wanted her to stay.

So, she stays.

 

-o0o-

 

The bedroom they stick her in sucks.

There’s too many colors, too many cushions, too many sparkles. It’s all so _bright_ , it hurts her eyes. She doesn’t know how Adora put up with it for so long as she did.

The bed is the worst part. It’s so soft Catra falls into it and spends the next better part of an hour trying to get back out. It’s not hard or flat like the bunk beds in the Fight Zone, and it’s empty. Catra is the only one in the room. Even after Adora left, Catra still had Entrapta and Scorpia.

But now, there’s no one. And it sucks.

 

-o0o-

 

Catra doesn’t leave the bedroom— _the_ bedroom, because it’s not hers, not really. They just gave it to her out of pity—for the first week she’s in Bright Moon. She’s not scared to leave, she’s never been scared of anything in her life and she’s not about to start now, but...she has no where else to go. She doesn’t know Bright Moon with it’s blinding whites and pinks and blues. She doesn’t want to know it, either. As soon as she catches her breath, she’s leaving the Castle and she’s not looking back.

She won’t leave Bright Moon, for Adora, but she can’t stay in the Castle. Everything around Catra just reminds her of Adora, and that’s not something she was ever trained for in the Horde.

 

-o0o-

 

She gets a visitor two weeks after the Horde’s fall.

“Have you been staying in here this whole time?” the teen asks her, sounding amazed. Catra knows him—brown skin and hair and eyes, a bow at his back and a heart on his chest. She doesn’t know his name, but she recognizes his face.

He was one of Adora’s friends. One of her many friends that failed to save her.

Catra looks back out the window. “Yeah. Why, should I be chained up in a prison someplace instead?” Not that a change in scenery would make much a difference. She’d still be locked up alone with her thoughts and gnawing guilt.

“No, of course not!” He sounds horrified now. Catra still doesn’t turn around. “But, you should…come out, you know? Talk with people. No one here will hurt you.”

Catra doesn’t say anything to that. She doesn’t trust anyone here. She doesn’t sleep because she _can’t,_ but also because she was never comfortable in a place surrounded by those that hated her. At least when she was training in the Horde, she had Adora. Adora was a shield, a blanket, a friend. She meant more to Catra than Catra ever knew.

Well. Now she knows. And she wishes she didn’t.

“Catra?”

The sound of her own name causes her shoulders to jump up defensively. _“What?”_

“Why haven’t you been eating?”

She does turn around at that. The bow guy is looking at her with clear concern, a furrow in his brow. He seems genuinely upset and Catra doesn’t get why.

“What do you care?” she asks after a pause.

“Because you’re Adora’s friend. And Adora cared.”

Catra bit her tongue. Even in death, Adora follows her like a shadow. It’s _annoying_.

“Yeah, well—“ she moves to stand, crossing her arms and staring down at the bow guy despite the fact that he’s half a head taller than her, “ _—Adora’s not here._ You don’t owe me anything through her, okay? I can take care of myself without anyone spying on me.”

Bow boy doesn’t flinch. “No one is spying on you. The servants just noticed that you don’t touch the trays that they leave for you. Did you have something different in the Fright Zone that you’d rather eat instead?”

 _Everything_ was different in the Fright Zone. But Catra wouldn’t have minded eating the Bright Moon food, if she didn’t feel so empty all the time.

“No. I’m just not hungry.” Her tail lashes through the air behind her. “Seriously, you don’t have to act all nice and friendly just out of some duty to her.”

Bow boy shakes his head. “I’m not acting anything out for her. I was just worried.”

“You don’t have to—“

“I know I don’t ‘have to’,” he cuts her off and she grits her teeth, bristling. “I’m doing it because I want to. And so does everyone else, if you’d come outside.”

Catra doesn’t believe that. No one wanted her around, not even in the Horde.

“...do you want to see Adora’s room?”

She blinks at that. “What?”

“Adora’s room. The one Glimmer gave her when she left—um, when she came to Bright Moon.”

Catra wants to punch him for that. She can tell he didn’t mean it, by the way he winces. But she still hears it echo in her brain all the same:

_When she left you._

“Just…” Catra lets out a sigh as the teen stares at her. His eyes dig into her skin like needles. “Show me her room.”

 

-o0o-

 

Adora’s room is a lot like Catra’s. With a few noticeable exceptions.

Her bed is on the floor, and it is flat and hard and _welcoming_. Weapons and clothes are thrown around like she had left in a hurry, different maps and plans scattered all around. Hundreds of little things that only Catra would notice are hidden throughout the room like clues, and Catra knows she would recognize this room as Adora’s even if Bow hadn’t told her.

It feels like home.

“You can stay here for as long as you want,” Bow says as Catra lightly touches the periwinkle and lilac sheets. “We haven’t moved anything since...you know.”

There’s an awkward pause. Catra’s fingers curl into fists and she glares down at the bed like it could stop the burning in her eyes and throat and chest.

Nothing really seems to help that, though.

“Why are you letting me in here?” Catra asks, voice rough.

“Because Adora was important to you.”

Bow takes a step closer, but Catra doesn’t look at him. “So this place might make you feel a little more at home.”

“Wasn’t she important to you, too?” Catra asks and she can’t help the bitter edge of her words. “She was your She-Ra and all that.”

“Adora was more than just She-Ra!” Bow says. “She was our friend. But…you need her more than we do right now. You deserve to be here.”

 

-o0o-

 

Bow leaves not too long after. Catra walks around the room—Adora’s room—slowly and runs her fingers over the desk and wall and doors. She thinks she can feel Adora’s presence a little, but she might just be fooling herself.

She stops in the center of the room and stares out blankly at the multi-colored wall. Adora is gone. And no amount of walking around this stupid room is ever going to bring her back.

So why does Catra feel more at peace here than anywhere else?

 

-o0o-

 

Catra stays in Adora’s room. She curls up at the base of the bed, like some day she’ll wake up and see Adora’s dumb sleeping face as she snores.

(Sometimes Catra jerks awake and checks anyway, despite knowing it’s impossible.)

 

-o0o-

 

“They’re building something in the garden,” Catra says as she looks out the window. Builders bustle around with sharp tools that look more like torture weapons than anything else, clearing out plants and making a flat plane of dirt in the middle of a bed of roses. They’d been at it for a few days now, and Catra wouldn’t care expect they’re _so loud_ and it’s annoying to be consistently waken up when she’s trying to sleep the rest of her life away.

Bow’s voice echoes around the room behind her. “Oh! Yeah, they’re building a statue for Adora out there.”

Catra turns her head to frown at him. Bow is as excited and lively as ever, but Catra knows deception when she sees it and can tell the other teen hasn’t slept any more than she has. She doesn’t know why he bothers to keep checking up on her, when she always declines his offers for dinner or other distraction. There’s no distraction from reality.

Catra doesn’t know where Adora’s other new bff—the sparkly one—is. She doesn’t care, either.

“Is it a statue for Adora,” Catra asks with narrowing mismatched eyes. “Or for She-Ra?”

Bow swallows the last bit of lunch he brought into her room—Adora’s room—and looks thoughtful. “Huh. You know, I’m not sure. I’ll make sure to ask though, if you’re curious!”

“I’m not curious,” Catra snaps and turns pointedly away. “What do I care, it’s just a dumb statue.”

A statue of Adora. Or She-Ra. Most people wouldn’t know the difference, but Catra does.

Adora was there long before She-Ra came along and ruined everything. And a part of Catra will never forgive She-Ra for ripping her best friend away from her side.

 

-o0o-

 

The statue is of She-Ra.

Of course it is.

Catra watches them pull the statue into place, then yanks the curtain over the window. Her heart is hammering and her chest hurts and she doesn’t want to see that stupid, horrible mockery of Adora every time she looks outside.

She collapses into Adora’s bed and stays there for the rest of the day. She doesn’t even answer Bow when he calls out by the door. He’s not the person she wants to see. She will never see _her_ again, and history will only remember _She-Ra_.

“Stupid,” Catra mutters and curls up into a ball. The sheets still smell like Adora, and that is the only thing that comforts her.

But how long will that last, when it will inevitably be erased too?

 

-o0o-

 

It takes a whole week before Catra grows curious enough to visit Adora’s statue.

She visits it in the middle of the day, with her hair sticking up in all different directions and circles under her eyes because she doesn’t sleep anymore. Not in the real way. But she visits Adora because she’s curious if they got the gleam in her eyes right, or the solid-ness of her pose.

They didn’t, of course. Because this is not Adora, but She-Ra, and they might be the same person but they’re on different ends of the spectrum as far as Catra as concerned.

Catra shakes her head. “Disappointing,” she mutters under her breath as she stares up at the statue. She-Ra beams back at her with flat grey eyes, her golden locks billowing in an invisible wind. Her sword is extended into the sky to mimic that same annoying pose Adora would always make when she transformed. It’s all She-Ra, and Catra’s jaw aches from clenching down so hard.

She turns on her heel and stomps back towards Adora’s room, only pausing to shoot glares at the Bright Moon civilians who stare her way.

Why did she bother going down there in the first place? What a waste of time.

 

-o0o-

 

“Thought I’d see you down here.”

Catra stiffens and whirls around, claws sliding out from on top her nails in an instant.

But it is only that girl. The one with the short hair and sparkles folded into the purples of her eyes. She doesn’t look so sparkly now, though; no glimmer lingers under her hair and her clothes are plain. Dull, compared to most Bright Moon fashion.

And yet she still smiles at Catra like she is an old friend.

Catra slips out of her defensive position. “What do you want,” she asks shortly. Her tail is still curling and twitching behind her, giving way to her true feelings.

“I came to visit Adora,” the other girl says simply. She comes to a stop at Catra’s side, turning to face the She-Ra statue with her hands clasped behind her back. Catra hates how that look in her gaze still makes her own heart clench with quiet fury.

Adora is dead. Why is Catra’s heart still hyper-focused on everything to do with her?

“Do you like it?” the Princess asks and Catra starts a little. “The statue, I mean.”

“No.” Catra folds her arms and looks away. She doesn’t get why the girl _cares_ . Catra herself is only back here because, well...it’s the only place she can see Adora again. Even if it’s a messed up, ultra-large version of her. “It looks _nothing_ like Adora. You got her all wrong.”

The girl just hums. “Yeah. I thought so, too.”

Catra’s anger fizzles a little at that. “Wh-What? Then why did you make a statue like that!”

She points at the statue accusatorily. She hates how calm this girl is, like her solemn sadness is enough to match Catra’s rolling, uncontainable fury. She doesn’t understand what Adora meant to Catra, she doesn’t deserve to come here and talk about Catra’s best friend like she knew her!

“I didn’t make the statue,” the girl says with a frown. “If I did, I would have made her a little less... _built up.”_

She gestures at the statue vaguely, and Catra knows exactly what she means.

“It’s a _She-Ra_ statue,” Catra grumbles. “I wouldn’t expect anything else from a bunch of Bright Moon idiots.”

The girl looks at her then with her sad, violet eyes. Catra glares back, refuses to back down. This girl means nothing to her, even if she meant something to Adora. Catra doesn’t owe Adora anything. Not anymore.

“I’m Glimmer,” the girl says quietly. She doesn’t hold out her hand, just keeps staring at Catra with those unnerving, _deep_ eyes.

“I don’t care,” Catra bites out.

“I know.” Glimmer pauses. “I’m not asking you to.”

“Then what do you want from me? I’m not—I’m not Adora. I can’t replace her and be your next She-Ra. You don’t even need one with the Horde gone—”

“We don’t want you to be Adora!” Glimmer bursts out. Her silhouette glows and sparks and Catra steps back, ears flattening against her head. “We—We just want to be here for you. To remember her, together!”

Glimmer throws her arm out towards the statue. Her expression crumples and her eyes start to shine, and not in the magic sense. Horror rushes through Catra. She doesn’t know how to comfort people. Did she even _want_ to comfort her? This girl took Adora away—

Glimmer turns away with a shuddering breath. Catra relaxes minutely, standing up straight while the Princess rubs the heel of her hand against her eyes.

“No one,” she says after a beat, voice shaking. “Can replace Adora. Okay? No one. I’m sure you know that by now.” She turns to look at Catra and she looks as miserable as Catra feels. “And I’m not saying we’re going through the same experience as you with all this. You knew her longer than we did, you grew up with her. But...we were all her friends. Doesn’t that count for something?”

 

-o0o-

 

The next time Catra visits Adora, it’s the middle of a night on a full moon. Pale light floods the garden and grass crunches under Catra’s heels. It’s so peaceful it almost makes Catra want to scream just to break it.

But she doesn’t. She’s too tired to do much screaming anymore.

“Heyyyyy, Adora,” Catra says and looks up at the statue. She-Ra doesn’t say anything in greeting back. No _“Catra!”,_ in that annoyed-relieved tone Catra could recognize in her sleep.

There’s just the silence. And Catra’s own beating heart.

“I’ve, uh. I’ve been talking to Glimmer and Bow more, lately.” Catra looks down at the grass under her feet. She spots a rock, and kicks it, feeling stupid. “Turns out you were right; they’re not so bad. I can see why you liked them so much…”

Catra lifts her head again. A breeze rustles through the trees, blowing her hair around her face. Adora’s hair stays frozen.

Catra wrinkles her nose as a burning rises in her eyes and throat. “Dammit, Adora. You know this—this sucks! A _lot_. Here I am, admitting you were right all along...and you can’t even say anything back.”

The burning is getting worse. Didn’t Glimmer say her she would feel _better_ coming out here to talk to Adora’s lame statue?

Catra takes a step forward, then leaps up into the platform. She steps as close to Adora as she can, her eyes hungrily running over every stone feature.

“They really didn’t do you justice,” she says softly and cups Adora’s cheek. It’s cold and hard and nothing like the person it was modeled after. Adora was always warm and full of energy and _life_. She never slowed down, not even for a minute. Having a statue made for her, to freeze her in her glory for all eternity, seems like a cruel joke.

Catra rests her forehead against the statue’s and closes her eyes. She knows it’s not real. She knows this thing is a bland excuse for the original, but it’s all she has. It’s the only thing left of Adora besides her own blurred memories.

“We decided this statue wasn’t good enough for you,” she says, voice cracking a little. She reaches under the collar of her shirt and pulls out a small gold locket. It’s stupid. And so incredibly cheesy that Catra almost threw it out the window when Bow and Glimmer came into her and Adora’s room with it.

“Bow thought it would be a good way to carry you with us or something.” Catra shook her head and her skin scraped against rough rock. “There’s a picture of you inside, and Bow got one made for each of us...how dumb, right? Pretty much everything here is dumb, now that I’ve gotten to see most of it. But you liked it here,didn’t you?”

She chews on her bottom lip and stares into blank statue eyes.

“I hope you liked being with me, too,” she manages to choke out. “We never really talked about it much between battles and all. But you were the best part of my childhood. You know? All that bad stuff we went though was worth it, because you were there. And when you _left_...that was when it became hell.”

Catra blinks as her vision grows blurry. She roughly runs her arm across her eyes, angry at herself. She said she wouldn’t fall apart, and yet here she was! How stupid.

“My point is,” Catra sucks in a shuddering breath. “I’m going to do my best to stay here, and keep going on. For you. Because you never wanted anyone to go through hell like we did. I get that now.”

“I’ll stay here, with Bow and Glimmer and your other stupid Princess friends. And I’ll come back to visit as often as I can.”

Catra closes her eyes, pictures warm hands running through her hair and scratching behind her ears.

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Finished watching the first season of She-Ra yesterday, wrote 3k words of fanfic for it today and it's all pure angst lol
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading it despite the pain! Had a lot of fun with the characters and definitely want to write more ^-^
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)   
>  [{My twitter}](https://twitter.com/decembercamie)


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